Not so social

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Why do I have an “I Hate People” category? Take this past weekend in culture.

Philip Seymour Hoffman dies.
Response on social media: “Why should I care?”
Answer: “Because he was a human being.”

Coca Cola ad uses “America the Beautiful” in eight languages for Super Bowl ad.
Response on social media: “This should be in English.”
Although: In terms of languages originating on this land, the ad did not use Navajo, Cherokee, Dakota…

These are the same types of people saying these things. Luckily I’ve either blocked or banned them on Facebook and I simply don’t follow them elsewhere. I’m kind of a one-strike rule gal anymore. Some people I don’t cut off of my list because I need to have a way to be in touch with them and Facebook is that way. But I think they know not to be dicks where I have to see it. If I have a problem, I hide them. My problem is solved. But click through to a news story or something and there’s the vitriol.

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

No place like home

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I spent most of the day with my eyes shut. Thank you, crappy contact, for the corneal abrasion!

Said around Chez Piggyhawk in the last 20 minutes:

Holden explains The Wizard of Oz to Hawk: “It’s all a dream. At the beginning, the tornado comes and knocks Dorothy obnoxious.”

Zoe realizes that Hawk intends to watch Lawrence Welk: “Shoot ‘em now! Shoot ‘em now!”

Me, to Hawk: “If JD Salinger were here, this is the part where we’d have to get up and dancing.” (see PBS)

Holden: “Who’s your favorite swashbuckler?”

Zoe: *singing the theme to “Wonder Woman”* I have taught her well.

Zoe: “I can’t hear the TV because Holden.”

Holden: “Ahoy! You’ve got booty!”

Explanations

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I’ve had three Twitter interactions lately with people who don’t understand the Internet. Or maybe the nature of the Net has changed and I’m the one who doesn’t know it.

The first was when I said I’d “watch the hell out of this” about a Japanese show where gay men try to make straight men come.

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The second was when I wrote that I wanted Marie Osmond to use some of the “intensively suggestive dialogue” that “The Talk” is branded with in the guide rating.

In both cases, I was asked by strangers to explain myself.

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I responded by blocking them. I don’t explain myself to people I know. I’m sure as hell not going to explain myself to Internet morality censors.

The third, I replied to. My tweet was about how my local PBS channel thinks it’s a great idea to delay “Sherlock” by half an hour so they can have a bunch of people sit around and discuss what just happened on “Downton Abbey.”

Therefore if you want to live-tweet Sherlock—like ya do – you should look for another PBS channel. I suggested WQED, who retweeted it. Then some yutz asked me “what channel is WQED in NYC?”

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Now him, I’ll take pity on. Because when Sherlock S3:E2 is finally airing in your country and your PBS channel is a black screen, you might panic. So I replied to him that my tweet was local to me. Poor dude. So lost. So alone.

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But honest to fuck, if I wanted to interact with you, I’d follow you. In any case, I’m not going to explain myself to you. And I’m sure as hell not your guide to the Internet.

Family time

“In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you’re a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you’re short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you’re a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you’re a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.”
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We were watching The Haunted Mansion the other day. A case of “it’s on and it’s kid-friendly.” It’s not my favorite movie but it’s not awful.

Zoe is exceptionally chatty these days plus she’s reading about MLK (she’s always been interested in him and I’ve encouraged that). She announced, “This is the first black movie.”

I said, “What?”

“Movie starring black people.”

“No it isn’t. There are lots of movies starring black people. This isn’t even the first Eddie Murphy movie. You’ve seen Shrek and Trading Places with Billy Ray.” We went over some of the movies they’ve seen with black characters but it’s true that as far as kid fare goes, we haven’t seen anything else with a black family as the central characters except for the Nutty Professor remake (which they loved because they love Eddie Murphy) and The Princess and the Frog.

Zoe countered with, “Why aren’t there more movies about black families?”

“I have no idea. There is no reason why movies couldn’t be cast with black actors in lead roles.”

Blogland, help us out. Recommend us some kid-friendly films with stars of color not doing unseen voicework.

Because it’s not showing up, the caption on my featured image of Chris Rock is from his 2012 presentation of the Oscar for “Best Animated Film” is: “In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you’re a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you’re short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you’re a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you’re a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.”

Care less

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My local radio station, which I don’t listen to because ugh, has a feature called “Therapy Thursdays.” They post it on Facebook, which is how I see it. People write in with their problems and get “advice” from the masses.

Generally the question/advice goes like this:

Man done me wrong => break all his stuff and burn it in the driveway

Woman done me wrong => it’s your fault because you have a penis

I want money => So do I

I don’t understand manners => Manners suck! Fuck ‘em all!

I know a bridezilla => so do I and here’s my life story

My boyfriend’s kids did something I don’t like => “whore”

My girlfriend’s kids did something I don’t like => it’s your fault because you have a penis

My 2014 resolution is “Care Less.” I don’t care about anyone’s opinion unless I ask for it. If you’re not paying me, I’m not correcting your spelling or grammar, which is out of control. I don’t care who you vote for or why. I don’t care if you believe there’s a god or more than one and I don’t need to hear about your Enlightenment. I don’t care about any reality TV stars, and I use that term loosely.

But I can’t stay away from Therapy Thursday.

When I was actively doing home shows as a TT distributor (I just stopped doing it; as I write this, I’m still active, if anyone wants to buy anything and link NSFW) I told my clients that most bedroom problems have one of two answers:

1. Talk to your partner

2. Talk to your doctor

But why would you do either of those when you can head to the Internet?

Where's the funnel?

Where’s the funnel?

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve been back blogging for a day and already I have a new entry under “I hate people.”

Pip pip

Three years later…

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I should probably update a few things.

This is our family:

WDW 2013

Yes, I bought the rights for my photo.

No, it’s not over and no I’m not going to discuss it.

So anyway…

As I write this, Zoe is 10 (almost 10 1/2). Holden is 8. The above photo was taken a few days before his birthday (and my 42nd).

Ha ha.

I will be using a lot of images to blog. I’m partial to gifs and yet I barely ever use my Tumblr.

Exactly, Mycroft.

I have this attitude:

I’m not averse to shutting down the comments because these are all the fucks I give:

Wingapo, doucheweasel

I should probably try to be “professional” in some capacity (i.e. not be myself).

It might be here somewhere…

I write. A lot. It’s private, like a secret goldfish.

I publish when I feel like it. I’m more into creating and working.

I was a Girl Scout leader for a couple years in there. I was pretty good at it. But outside of the meetings it was a huge quagmire.

“Hey, I’m a huge quagmire!”

I have some Pinterest boards that may amuse you.They amuse the hell out of me.

I could really go for some cake right about now. But I’m lazy and have no cake made. I have Jammie Dodgers though.

Now I’m just rambling…

And I’m writing this late and night but posting it early on another day just because I can and I’m a rebel like that.